10 Dates

I’m BAAAAAAAACK!!

2005-07-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

Hey remember me? I probably win the award for the most absent among all of the tendaters. Well, here I am, back in the US, and I just spent about an hour catching up on reading all of the tendates exploits I missed while I was away.

I have to say that while living in Rome was a wonderful experience in terms of my archi-education, and in terms of gaining personal perspective, I wasn’t really focused on meeting any men while I was there. I was approached by, pinched by, and unwillingly fondled/pawed by men, but did not “date” any. For some reason, I just felt as though I wasn’t there for that.

So, here’s the update on my dating situation (and I use the term “dating” very loosely here folks). The thing is that I’ve kinda broken one of the rules of tendates. I’ve been seeing/talking to/been on a date with my ex. THE ex.
Okay, okay, okay… now before you get all judgmental on me, let me explain the situation, and feel free to post advice when the tale has been told, as I’m sure I need it.

Here’s the story. (You may want to make yourself comfortable, because this could be a long one…)

Even before all of this tendates stuff even began, roughly 2 months prior to our little pact, I was talking very seriously with my ex about THE FUTURE. Background: We started dating when we were 17 years old. Yes. 17. We were together for 3 years or so, and then spent another 2-3 breaking up and getting back together. This was about 5 or 6 years ago now.

We kinda got separated by life… we needed to live our own lives, and needed to become our own people. We were young. It was inevitable that we should find out what else, or who else was out there. We’ve both moved around, lived in different cities, and dated different people. But even during the years we were completely broken up, when we’d see each other we’d still admit to having feelings for one another, and I’d hate hearing when he was with someone else. He lives out in Cali now, goes to school out there now, and we’ve always been in contact.

I don’t exactly even remember how the recent conversations started… It was mid February… I think he had just broken up with someone, and maybe not feeling to good about it, and I was there to talk to? Regardless, we somehow started talking about how we still loved each other, and about how great it would be to give the whole relationship another try sometime in the future.
Truth be told, he’s been the only person that I’ve ever been completely in love with, and the only person I ever seriously saw myself marrying. And, believe me, it wasn’t for a lack of looking, or dating, or trying with other men.
So throughout March and April we talked about what would happen when we both finished with our Masters programs, we talked about moving to be with one another, and we talked every day or sometimes twice a day for 2 months. And I was happy. There were parts of me that honestly hoped for another chance to be with him because I believed that we still had unresolved feelings for one another even after all of these years. I was really happy.

And then sometime during the stress of my architecture finals at the end of April, I started to wonder what it was that we were doing exactly. We’d developed this quasi-long distance relationship based completely on fantasies of an idea of the future… and it occurred to me that I was getting emotionally caught up in something that I wasn’t sure that I should be.
So, I asked him about it. And our conversation about the realities of our situation wasn’t pleasant. We talked about this coming year during which I have to be in NY finishing school and he has to be out in CA finishing school, and the seeming impossibility of continuing a telephone relationship for a year. So, disheartened by the whole situation, we agreed to stop our conversations about the future and just be friends. I don’t think I have to tell you how upsetting this option was for me, but it seemed to be the only viable solution. The whole thing felt completely and utterly hopeless.

And then I promptly had a party, where the idea of tendates was born, and after which I hooked up with that archi-school guy (read post prior).

And then I went to Italy. It is incredible how traveling gives much needed perspective. About a week into my being there, I was having crazy dreams. I guess it was my subconscious working through some things since I finally had down time. I thought about him a lot, and about the whole situation. I realized how happy I was when we were together in our own way the months we were talking. I missed him. I talked about him with my friends. I called him from Rome several times.

The day after I returned from Italy he flew in from CA for several days for his birthday and for the 4th of July, and we spent almost the whole time together. Although things aren’t completely resolved, per say, I did admit that I still want to try to fly out to see him as much as possible over this next year, and that I did want to try and be in the same city (pending employment) after school was finally over in May 2006. Because as insane as it all is, after 11 years of knowing each other, we still love each other. And that means something.

So, my plan for the next year? I guess I’m going to be sure that my long distance plan is good, and I’m going to set aside money for a couple of trips out to San Diego. After that, we’ll see what happens. We haven’t made any promises of commitment. I guess it’s going to be life as usual, with an idea of happily ever after in the future?

So, I guess I’m unsure as to what happens to me now in this tendates arena. I don’t technically have a boyfriend, but I don’t think that I’m emotionally available to seriously date anyone right now either? So, do I go out on the tendates, and finish what I started just to give dating one last college try? Or do I bow out here? I could use a little feedback and/or guidance here…

Whew. That was a lot of writing.
If you’ve read this far, you should win something. ;)

The End.

yes, i'm still here

2005-07-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

i know it seems like jodi and josh are doing most of the representing, well, all of the representing. the new job(s) have taken away most of my hopes of maintaining any sort of social life.

also, according to the little navigation bar over there on the right - one night stands don't count as dates. so i got nothing. of course, if you prod me hard enough (heh. dirty!) i might just tell you the tale anyway.

"So, are you dating anyone?"

2005-06-23T14:57:00.000-07:00

What’s worse?

Feeling like a loser because you didn’t have a date this weekend

or

Feeling like a loser after you had a first date this weekend

I don't know if you knew this but I've been on a few dates lately – some good, some bad, and a few ugly. Yeah, I'm a little sick of dating - def. finding myself less interested in dating then I was a month ago. Maybe its because I haven't really met anybody lately (or made an effort to meet anyone). So while I try and meet new people I came up with a few questions and thoughts to ponder/amuse yourself with while I look for more unsuspecting New Yorkers to date (and ultimately give me a complex):

Is it me or is Rachel Ray the shittiest tipper on television?

Am I the only person who feels like slapping the Upper East Side bastard in the backwards hat who says things like “Dude, PBR is only $2. Sweet!” or “Check out my velour pants. They’re the bomb!” or “Brother Jimmy’s rules!”

Do you ever think about the families on Extreme Home Makeover and how their property taxes will undoubtedly go through the roof once their renovations are complete? Oh, you don’t? What’s that? You’re moved by the inspirational tone of the show and its ability to lift people out of dire straits and provide them with a once in a lifetime opportunity? So you don’t wonder if they had the proper permits?

Why are you not allowed to take pictures on the subway?

Does Sex and the City remind you of The Golden Girls?

Have you ever been on a date with your girlfriend/boyfriend when they announce that they’re moving to Israel in 2 months to study at a Yeshiva and that in the meantime they’d like to be Shomer Negiah (no sex with, touching, kissing, or hugging of the opposite sex until your married)?

#2 with #3 (That just sounds so dirty)

2005-06-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

Date #6: The Second Date with Date #3

The Location: A restaurant on the UWS

The Food: We started with a chipotle poached gulf shrimp, mango, and avocado salad with a passion fruit vinaigrette. For our entrees we had the asparagus ravioli in a basil and garlic infused oil and the sesame crusted big-eyed tuna steak (lightly seared of course) served over soba noodles. One word -- delish.

Drinks: Sangria and Heineken.

Is it possible to have an off night? I feel like I did. I was looking forward to this date and left feeling like I dropped the ball. I know that I’m not really good on the dinner date as a first or second date. I do much better in smaller more intimate settings at first (i.e. the dark moody lounge or the wine bar). Which begs the question; if I knew all of this why did I jump to the dinner date so early?

Fit But You Know It

2005-06-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

See I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9,
Maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time.
That blue top shop top you've got on IS nice,
Bit too much fake tan though - but yeah you score high.

But there’s just one little thing that really really,
Really really annoying me about you you see,
Yeah yeah like I said you are really fit
But my gosh don't you just know it

-- The Streets

Date #5: NYC's Most Vapid

The Location: A tragically hip spot in a neighborhood that was once seedy but is now filled with what looks like extras from an episode of Sex and the City.

The Date: A 20 something actor/model/dancer/singer wannabe who does not know about the site. This was a J Date.

Tonight’s date…well…I won’t even bother with details but here are the “highlights”:

My dates was either coked up or suffering from a Trim Spa addiction when she showed up
Daddy pays her rent/bills/expenses so she can pursue her acting/modeling/dancing/singing career
She has yet to get a gig in any of the above mentioned mediums
She oesn’t like to read books because she’s not a “literary kind of person”
Honestly believes that Lindsay Lohan will one day win an Oscar
Is sad about Nick and Jessica’s impending breakup
Didn’t believe me when I told her that I don’t have cable
Wanted to vote for Bush but wasn’t sure when election day was (I’m not kidding)
Admitted to using J Date for the free meals and drinks because “I’m totally hot and boys just like buying me stuff.”
Answered her cell phone 3 times during our date
Is embarrassed by other Jewish people because they “draw attention to themselves”
Elaborated further by explaining that “people can be too Jewish and that it’s really annoying.”
Spends her weekends in the Hamptons in a house with 40 other people
Wondered what I did for fun in college because I wasn’t in a fraternity
Dropped the N-Bomb when describing African-Americans

After the N-Bomb I felt so utterly disgusted that I excused myself to use the bathroom so that I could splash some cold water on my face (hopefully waking me up from this nightmare). On my way out of the men’s room I looked across the restaurant and noticed that she was on her cell phone again. At that moment I thought to myself, “What the hell am I still doing here?” Since I couldn’t think of anything to keep me there I left. That’s right, I walked out and went home. I totally bailed on my date and stuck her with the bill. And no, I don’t feel bad about it.

Fuck you J Date, I’m officially canceling my subscription.

Ciao!

2005-06-07T08:26:00.000-07:00

Ciao from Rome!!!
Just some quick broad generalizations about the differences between the men here in Rome, and the men back home in the States.
Roman men like blonde women, think American girls will put out, and tend to be much more forward in begining conversation with women they wish to get to know. Therefore, I've been here for 9 days, and have seemingly been approached by more men here than I had in the States all of last year. This is not to say that I've had any dates... just that I've been entertained a whole lot. We'll see if any dates actually happen- right now most meetings fall in the "group hang" category.
I'll keep everyone posted though. I'm having a friggin great time thus far. :)

The Fix Up

2005-06-01T07:45:00.000-07:00

Josh’s Date #4: The friend of the friend

The Place: Central Park
The Date: One of my closest friends sisters friend (does that make sense?) who doesn’t know about the site

Ah, the fix up. These have the potential to be either really great or go so horribly fucking wrong that you begin to question your friend's sanity for fixing you up with a complete mutant.

I've been on a few fix ups and they have all been bad. I only say bad because none of them ever turned into a 2nd date and I have the tendency to only remember the strange and awful fix ups -- everything from the bored date who made the impression that they were just going out with me as a favor to a friend or the one time I went out with a modern orthodox women in college who asked me if I would become more religious if we were to get married.

Slightly apprehensive about the idea of the fix-up I went along with it mostly because I really respect my friend’s opinion. I would also like to point out that I was completely flattered that both my friend and her sister would think of me when fixing me up with someone so very close to them.

I was told to email a few pictures to my friend so she could send them over to their friend. This made me nervous -- mostly because I don’t photograph well. I have no explanation as to why this is (my buddy E.B. thinks I do it on purpose). Pictures of one another were exchanged over the Internet and emailing ensued.

After a week or two of emailing we finally made plans (we both have crazy schedules with work and grad school). It was a beautiful day out so we decided to just take a stroll through Central Park. I have to say that I really appreciate the untraditional dates -- the walk in the park, the museum, or mechanical bull riding in a cowboy bar. After our walk we had some really amazing ice cream at a place near her apartment.

Bottom line: Cool Chiquita -- she's smart, funny, well traveled, beautiful. I would totally like to see her again.

BTW -- It was also great to go out on a date with someone who has worked in a non-profit organization. When I tell people that I work for a nonprofit organization they usually just dismiss it as just another job but to me it's more than just a job -- I believe in what I do and am moved everyday by the people I work with and the work that we do. As a former nonprofit worker my date understood that - which was very cool.

Wow, things are definitely looking up. . .

Red Red Wine

2005-05-31T09:55:00.000-07:00

Joshua’s 3rd Date

Yeah, I know – I’m a slacker (thanks for reminding me Jodi). Work has been slightly busy these days and when I come home at night all I want to do is chill out. After sitting in a cubicle all day (and night) the last thing you want to do is go home and sit in front of the computer. This posting is from a date I had over a week ago.

The Location: Another wine bar

The Date: A 20 something year old media planner who knows about the site.

One of my biggest fears with the development of this web site was that I was going to meet someone who I really dug who would dump my sorry ass because I was blogging about our dates. I’ve often wondered at what point does one throw the following into conversation: “Say, I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’ve been writing about our dates and posting it on the internet.”

One twist I never thought of was the potential to date someone who has read the site. About a week and a half ago I received an email from one of our readers. She explained that a coworker had seen the site and was intrigued by what she had read about me. Totally flattered I got said coworkers email address and we began to email back and forth. After a few emails over the course of a week we decided to meet up at a wine bar.

I get extremely nervous on first dates and I only got myself more worked up when I realized that I had no idea what she looked liked. My concern over what she looked liked was not for any shallow reasons – I was only fearful that the outside of the bar would be crowded and I would embarrass myself by greeting the wrong person (I've done this before). Thankfully the bar was empty and she arrived about the same time I got there (btw – she was totally cute).

We ordered a bottle of wine and chatted about music, college, jobs/careers, knitting, art, and crazy roommates (I think everyone in NYC has had at least one). I was amazed at how easy it was to talk to her. We polished off the bottle of wine and ordered some more. We totally lost track of time -- when my date told me what time it was I was surprised because it didn’t feel like we were there that long. As I hailed her a cab I told that I had a really nice time and would like to do it again (after last week I've decided to say this only when I actually mean it -- yeah I know it seems like common sense but what can I say, I'm an idiot).

Before we started this website I had recently thrown myself back into the dating world only to find most of the dates forgettable at best. I would come home either cursing JDate or wonder how a seemingly normal person I asked out could turn into a compete whack job. Wondering where are all the normal women were I was contemplating throwing in the towel. As you can imagine it was refreshing to go out with someone who was cool, easy to talk to, very smart, and really pretty.

Perhaps things are looking up...

Sex and The Single Girl Lesbian

2005-05-25T12:53:00.000-07:00

We've all heard the joke, but contrary to popular opinion, lesbian dating is not about mating, coupling, or renting a U-Haul..

But the problem is, lesbian dating is not what I would call a common occurrence. In fact, someone I know sent me these two following things today which quite frankly might be the truest things I've ever seen about supposed lesbian dating...

"If you don't want to marry her, don't ask her to the movies"
"Lesbians are the only ones who find it necessary to break up with a date"

I have spent most of my twenties in and out of very serious relationships. I have embarked on this ten dates journey because I want to explore my options and have fun. I thought to myself how hard could this possibly be? Well folks, its freaking impossible. The odds are stacked up against me. I've never known a lesbian who "dates". They're either in a relationship (read: 2nd date u-haul action) or they're totally single. I personally have only been on a handful of third dates (read: made it past that second date, but didn't move into serious relationship land). So to be frank, as we like to do here at 10 dates, I myself, don't really know how to date, nor do I know the supposed rules of lesbian dating.

As life would have it the majority of my friends are straight (ok 99.9% of them are straight), and the majority of their friends are straight - leaving me few opportunities to meet someone through someone I know. This means I have to turn to (oh the humanity) bars and on-line dating(unless you've got a better idea, which I'm, of course, open to hearing). This is where things get tricky. Is it up to me to do the approaching? How does this all play out? So, I the "Alternative Lifestyle Ten Dater" is turning to you, the reader for help. Anyone know anymore about this than I do?

2005-05-18T00:43:00.000-07:00

Joshua's Date #2: The Lawyer

The place: A wine bar downtown
The date: 29 year old corporate lawyer who does not know about the site. She asked me out after finding my profile on JDate.

Over the many centuries of human existence, many social customs have emerged out of both necessity and leisure. The handshake is one custom that encompasses both of those origins. The handshake may appear little more than a formality to some, but to others it is a complete view into the personality of the person on the other end of the handshake.

I met The Lawyer at a trendy little spot downtown. It was her choice. I noticed her even though she looked a lot different from her pictures. Now I know I’m not the cover of GQ but she was clearly not my type and by type I mean pretty. BTW – DO NOT post pictures of yourself on the Internet if you do not resemble said pictures.

So there we are on the sidewalk outside the bar meeting for the first time. I hate these awkward moments before a first date. I was taken aback when she shook my hand when we met. Who shakes hands on a first date?

We went inside and sat at the bar. I suggested a table rather then the crowded bar but she insisted on sitting at the bar. We ordered some wine and talked. While there were no awkward silences/pauses and the conversation flowed I just didn’t really feel anything – there was just no spark. She seemed nice, she has a good job, she's well educated, and could carry on a normal conversation -- I just wasn’t that into her.

We finished our drinks, I paid the tab, and I walked her to the subway. I always hate this part of the date because I’m just not sure what I’m going to say to someone that I have no desire to see/talk to again. When we got to the subway I told her that it was a nice evening and that we should do it again sometime to which she replied, “Yeah, I don’t think so but thanks anyway.”

Sure, part of me was thinking "who the hell do you think you are" but I actually really appreciated her honesty -- too many dates have ended with empty promises of phone calls and future dates. Lord knows I've been guilty of promising to call when I clearly had no intention of ever seeing that person again. Perhaps this is karma coming back to slap me in the face? Maybe I went out with a social invalid not skilled in the ancient art of tact? Or maybe, just maybe, I went out with someone who just wasn't that into me, wasn't interested in repeating the process over again, and was honest about the whole situation at the end of the date. Yeah, I'm going with social invalid...

girls who are boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like they're girls who do girls like they're boys

2005-05-16T06:59:00.000-07:00

I'd like to interrupt posting about dates, almost dates, calls to make dates, and why I can't find a date to bring you some late breaking news....

Here's the deal, we here at 10 dates have been discussing the possibility of throwing a launch party for this little website of ours. Sadly, we've been too busy and/or lazy to get motivated on this one and well its not going to happen.

BUT, Saturday is Jodi's Birthday! This is of course both reason to celebrate and reason for us to motivate. So there's going to be a party. The Ten Daters will be there. You know you want to see us in person. Where, you ask?

Why MUSICAL BOX (heh, heh, box) of course!
219 Ave B (B/W 13th and 14th)
10pm ish.

All we ask is you come prepared to have a kickass time! And if you'd like a little gift for Jodi. I mean it is her birthday and all, the least you could do is buy her a drink. I'm just sayin...

the update...

2005-05-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I called him...
The verdict is that I'm calling this one a dead end.
Here's the gist of the conversation yesterday...
After exchanging hellos, I asked him if he was busy last night (knowing that the likelihood of his being busy was pretty good seeing as he graduated today), he said that he had plans and that he'd be out that night with other graduating types. Kay. So, he mentioned where he'd be going, and he said that I should try and make it out, but he didn't really sound like he meant it.
And all in all, he didn't sound too happy to hear from me at all.
So, I went to Verlaine with Andrea, and we had martinis instead.
Then I came back to school and worked on the graduate architecture end-of-the year show where I got to hang up his work instead.
But, let's be realistic here... I wouldn't have been into me either. Looking through his eyes, I'd see me as someone I probably wouldn't want to get involved with given my behavior of late.
We'll just call this one kharmic punishment for acting like a whore. ;)
Lesson learned.
Onward and upward.

She's posting folks...

2005-05-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

First, let me say that I apologize for being the last one to jump into the pool. I had to finish up the semester at school, move out of my now sub-let apartment for the summer, you know, little things like that. But now that that stuff is all over with, let the games begin. Or not games, but, well, you know what I mean.
Second, I'm not posting about a date... yet... just about the blog in general. You'll have to wait for more juicy stuff later. So if you're only in it for the sordid details, skip (parts of) this one.
This whole 10 dates situation had the potential to be re-empowering... what I’ve decided that I’m going to do is post about the things I say I’m going to do before I do them, and this way I’ll actually do them and not completely chicken out. What you’ll find out really quickly about me is that I get a bit of Scooby-Doo syndrome when it comes to relationships (you know what I mean… when Scooby was taken in by whatever mystery ghosts Old Man whatever-his-name-would-be-that-episode conjured up to scare the gang, and Scooby would get all shaky, and run away). So, this blog is actually going to help keep me honest more than anything else.

For instance: Today I’m actually going to call a boy I’m interested in. Okay, well, he’s not a boy because that would get me in trouble in many states… but a guy who is well over 18, mind you.
The back-story: He’s a year ahead of me in archi-school, and just graduated. I kinda dated… alright, not dated, but hooked up with occasionally (and by occasionally, I really mean only 4 times)… his best friend this past school year. Ah, the tangled webs. So, in my mind he was completely off-limits, even when he occasionally flirted with me. So, last weekend he had an end-of-the-semester party, which I went to after not sleeping for 2 days (we had a final presentation earlier that day) and after spending some time celebrating at a bar with my classmates. So, I went, wound up flirting, wound up drinking some more, and wound up staying over that night. Very innocently, mind you… I don’t do the one-night stand thing (anymore). That was Saturday night. And he hasn’t called. And I don’t know that he will because he’s graduating tomorrow, and moving out of the city for the summer. And, if we’re being totally truthful here, which I am being, I don’t know that I’d call me because I had semi-recently hooked up with his best friend again. (Which he already knew about.)
(And, for the record, let me explain the best friend thing… basically, one of us or both of us would be lonely, he’d stay over, and then neither one of us would call each other or even acknowledge that it happened for months… there would be months between seeing each other again… neither one of is/was interested in the other in terms of a relationship, and we both knew it…so it's your textbook random hooking-up).
So, back to the guy I’m interested in… while he has made efforts to hang out in the past, and while it seems like he could like me as more than just a random hook-up (from his past behavior), I don’t know if all it was was a random hook-up (because of his knowledge about my past behavior).
So, today, I am going to call him and ask him out. Because I’m in town for a couple of days. And because I don’t want to wonder what would’ve happened if I didn’t call. And because I think I could/do really like him (as more than just a random hook-up).
Wish me luck.

The Hitchhikers' Guide to Dating

2005-05-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

Total disclosure? I couldn't find a date if it hit me on the head. So when I was approached with the opportunity to go on a "set-up" with a friend of a friend I said to myself, 'Well now, here's my chance, alright I'm in!' I mean a set-up, while awkward, isn't nearly as awkward as a blind date because at least there are other people to buffer the meeting. Now for those of you who are also of the homosexual persuasion I'm sure you're well aware of what the mathematicians call "The Rule of the 2nd Gay". The equation works like this, a straight friend sees you - the single gay - and wants to set you up with his/her other friend - the 2nd gay. Why? Because you're gay and they're gay and so obviously the two of you are perfect for each other. Who's been there with me on this?

So, it was of almost great surprise when LjB approached me with the idea of setting me up with her roommate's friend - An editor for a high profile publishing company with a graduate degree and a good sense of humor who apparently is also quite attractive. Now this sounded like someone who actually might be good for me and also a lesbian! (For those of you readers who know me, need I remind you about my history with the straight women?). Sadly, this was one of those occasions where the paper and the reality didn't match up.

While it is generally our duty to recap dates, this wasn't one, so I'm not going to. But I will say this, the woman was nice enough, friendly (if not shy) and somewhat attractive. Chemistry? Not a lick. She doesn't have cable, Masterpiece Theater is her favorite show, she declares herself an existentialist ( I thought only freshmen in college did that) and also a luddite. Wow. Couldn't get much more different from my interests if you tried. There was a brief glimmer of hope when, three grey goose and tonics in, she mentioned that she went to Catholic School and my mind was a swimming with images of short plaid skirts, but it was shattered quite quickly by her then ensuing rant against all religions, followed by a paltry "But I respect other people's spirituality." Tolerance is something you should always bring with you on a set-up, group-hang, first date. I'm just saying.

Needless to say, there will not be a first date. And I'm still (as a friend put it so eloquently the other day) fully date-lame. Maybe when walking home from work today someone'll fall out of the sky. Also, If you've got an old copy of the Hitchhikers' Guide to Dating and want to pass it along that'd be great. Lord knows I could use it.

Tattooed Jewess...

2005-05-08T03:26:00.000-07:00

Joshua's Date #1: Punk Rock Girl

The Place: The Nomadic Museum “Ashes and Snow” exhibit
The Date: A first date (met on Jdate); Late 20’s; A band rep for a music management company who doesn’t know about the contest

I have a profile on Jdate. There, I said it. I’m out of the Heeb online daters closet. I’m fine with. No really, I am. I’ve actually had a profile for quite some time but have only recently subscribed to the service. I always figured that with a ridiculously sarcastic profile and a picture of Neil Diamond I would just be ignored. I was wrong - emails have been pouring in for quite some time. As a nonmember I have not been able to check the messages that have been accumulating (smart Jews running that site – like a strip club it's free to look but costs money to touch). Being the curious person that I am I took the plunge and threw down $35 shekels for access to the service a few weeks ago. I really wanted to see what kind of Jewish girl wants to get to know me.

I have to say that Jdate is filled all sorts of ladies – everything from the Murray Hill sorority girl from Long Island who straightens her curly hair to the ultra religious woman in a long skirt on the Upper West Side. One word describes the women I’ve met on Jdate: forgettable (ask me about the one date who insisted on going to TGIFridays and drank 5 pints of beer). Ready to cancel my membership I got an email message from a woman in her late 20’s who works in the music business. Her profile was witty and it looked like we had similar interests. She seemed interesting enough so I responded.

I met Punk Rock Girl at the Nomadic Museum to see the Ashes and Snow exhibit. I recognized her right away. She had a great smile. It’s always nice to see a smile on the person you’re meeting for a first date. I like to believe it’s because they’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Then again she could have been stoned.

Going to an art exhibit on the first date was a nice change from the standard drinks/dinner. I often feel that first dates over drinks/dinner are like job interviews – there is nothing worse than an awkward pause in the middle of dinner and trying to scramble to find something to say. At least with an art exhibit if things got awkward we could use the silence as an excuse to look at the photographs.

Thankfully there were no awkward pauses. The conversation flowed naturally and didn't seemed forced. I found that we talked more then look at the photographs. The only silence came during a film at the end of the exhibit. Both of us found the film visually stunning but somewhat pretentious (not like any of you care).

After the museum she treated me to Tasti D Lite and we chatted in Union Square for a while. We talked about art, music, our jobs, overseas travel, apartment/roommate disasters, politics, all the lunatics that live in New York City - she was way cooler then any of the other women I’ve met on Jdate. Since we both had plans later in the evening we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. I told her I’d call her.

Bottom Line: Overall it was a good first date. Punk Rock Girl was adorable and had a great personality. The art exhibit as a first date was a nice change of pace from the standard NYC dating ritual. Despite being a smoker I would like to go out with her again.

The Final Ten Dater

2005-05-04T07:44:00.000-07:00

Is this thing on? Today we bring you our fourth and final Ten Dater. Give a warm welcome to Andrea. (And don't forget to try the veal):

You think you've got post-graduate degrees? Andrea's got post-grad degrees up the wazoo, and is gunning for her third beginning in August. She currently resides in Brooklyn, and has no idea where she'll be living after May 31. Rest assured, there will be a door. When she's not up all hours chopping carrots into even squares for the tragically hip (and not the Tragically Hip), she can be found drinking wine on the LES, eating dinner on the LES, kicking back a few beers on the LES, or walking the streets of the LES. Her pop-culture acumen is matched only by her wit. The real question is "Does life get better than that?" Andrea submits that it does not.
Men need not apply.

There you have it. Interested in being one of Andrea's ten? tendates@gmail.com

The four friends have now been introduced to you. The rules have been laid out. Let the Dating commence. Rumor has it that at least two of the four have dates already lined up for the weekend. Stay tuned to find out who and how it went!

The Third Ten Dater

2005-05-04T06:39:00.000-07:00

Ahem. Settle Down Everyone. I'm pleased to introduce you to Kristen!

Kristen somehow finds it hard to live in one place for more than 3
years at a time, and harder still to stick to a career. After being a
painter, a lighting/scenic designer for theater, and a graphic
designer, she's now almost completely sure that she'll be an
architect. She recently moved back to NYC from her 3-year stint in
Boston to attend architecture school, where over the last 2 years
she's developed a caffeine habit that has contributed to her now being
almost completely nocturnal. Kristen's interests involve building
stuff and designing stuff to build, watching the television exploits
of both Jack Bauer and Stewie Griffin, snapping pictures around town,
hanging out in bars on the LES, reading in cafes, watching arty films
and taking road trips. She's generally looking for a man who doesn't
scare her, who is just the right amount of both aloof and attentive,
and who is clean… or at least fairly clean.

Holla at a sista. If you're interested in being one of Kristen's ten email us at tendates@gmail.com (seriously people, you should know the drill by now). As an aside, Kristen will be in Rome for the entire month of June, foreign dates are still dates, check back to hear all about the fabulous Italian men she'll meet and date.

The Second Ten Dater

2005-05-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

Everybody say hello to Josh!

Joshua is everything that SUV's and diet soft drinks promise but never deliver on. The kid your rabbi warned you about, Joshua is looking for a woman who knows how to “keep it real” but is also interested in “taking it to the next level.” After a year in Boston Joshua moved back to NYC in the fall of 2001 to work in the government relations department for one of NYC's largest nonprofit organizations. When Joshua is not trying to make the world a better place he can be found at graduate school working on his MPA. Joshua also enjoys art, listening to music, playing Ms. Pac Man, hanging out in dive bars, drinking good coffee, and reading. As a former college varsity athlete Joshua used to enjoy running – now he only does it if he's being chased.

same deal... you wanna be one of Josh's ten dates? email us at tendates@gmail.com .

and check back to hear all of josh's sordid stories. I promise they're gonna be good.

Welcome to 10 Dates

2005-05-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

This is not a test. Borne out of a challenge and emboldened by Sparks - these are about to be the incredibly true adventures of four single friends about to embark on a mission. Each must have 10 Dates before midnight on December 31, 2005. Here are the rules:

1. A Date is defined as a face to face - one on one meeting. Instant messaging, emailing and phone conversations, no matter how intense and sexual they may get, do not count.
2. A "group hang" is not a date.
3. No more than 3 dates with one person will count. The 2nd and 3rd dates will only count if there is actual potential (ie. No going on a second date after a failed first date, just to lower the numbers)
4. Prior hook-ups do not count.
5. Seeing exes do not count.
6. Meeting someone in a bar and taking them home is NOT a date (meeting up with them again would count as a date)
7. Breakfast the morning after is NOT a date.
8. After said date is complete it MUST be blogged about. Names will be changed to protect the innocent and the not so innocent.

As the week progresses, you will meet the four 10 Daters. Today meet Jodi:

After graduating from Barnard College, Jodi stuffed all of her belongings into the trunk of her car and hightailed it to LA. She proudly made it through four years there without dyeing, bleaching or streaking her dark hair, learned a whole hell of a lot about astrology (she is a Gemini, but a little too close to Taurus for comfort), and was told by a psychic to immediately begin having more one night stands. She now lives and works in Manhattan, tries to eat tasti d lite at least once a day, and can often be found in the giant Whole Foods at Columbus Circle, assembling some bizarre salad concoction. Also, thanks to James at Equinox on 76th St., she has a brand new ass.

Check back to hear about Jodi's exploits in the world of dating. If you're interested in being one of Jodi's ten dates email us at
tendates@gmail.com