Sex and The Single Girl Lesbian

We've all heard the joke, but contrary to popular opinion, lesbian dating is not about mating, coupling, or renting a U-Haul..

But the problem is, lesbian dating is not what I would call a common occurrence. In fact, someone I know sent me these two following things today which quite frankly might be the truest things I've ever seen about supposed lesbian dating...

"If you don't want to marry her, don't ask her to the movies"
"Lesbians are the only ones who find it necessary to break up with a date"

I have spent most of my twenties in and out of very serious relationships. I have embarked on this ten dates journey because I want to explore my options and have fun. I thought to myself how hard could this possibly be? Well folks, its freaking impossible. The odds are stacked up against me. I've never known a lesbian who "dates". They're either in a relationship (read: 2nd date u-haul action) or they're totally single. I personally have only been on a handful of third dates (read: made it past that second date, but didn't move into serious relationship land). So to be frank, as we like to do here at 10 dates, I myself, don't really know how to date, nor do I know the supposed rules of lesbian dating.

As life would have it the majority of my friends are straight (ok 99.9% of them are straight), and the majority of their friends are straight - leaving me few opportunities to meet someone through someone I know. This means I have to turn to (oh the humanity) bars and on-line dating(unless you've got a better idea, which I'm, of course, open to hearing). This is where things get tricky. Is it up to me to do the approaching? How does this all play out? So, I the "Alternative Lifestyle Ten Dater" is turning to you, the reader for help. Anyone know anymore about this than I do?

girls who are boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like they're girls who do girls like they're boys

I'd like to interrupt posting about dates, almost dates, calls to make dates, and why I can't find a date to bring you some late breaking news....

Here's the deal, we here at 10 dates have been discussing the possibility of throwing a launch party for this little website of ours. Sadly, we've been too busy and/or lazy to get motivated on this one and well its not going to happen.

BUT, Saturday is Jodi's Birthday! This is of course both reason to celebrate and reason for us to motivate. So there's going to be a party. The Ten Daters will be there. You know you want to see us in person. Where, you ask?

Why MUSICAL BOX (heh, heh, box) of course!
219 Ave B (B/W 13th and 14th)
10pm ish.

All we ask is you come prepared to have a kickass time! And if you'd like a little gift for Jodi. I mean it is her birthday and all, the least you could do is buy her a drink. I'm just sayin...

The Hitchhikers' Guide to Dating

Total disclosure? I couldn't find a date if it hit me on the head. So when I was approached with the opportunity to go on a "set-up" with a friend of a friend I said to myself, 'Well now, here's my chance, alright I'm in!' I mean a set-up, while awkward, isn't nearly as awkward as a blind date because at least there are other people to buffer the meeting. Now for those of you who are also of the homosexual persuasion I'm sure you're well aware of what the mathematicians call "The Rule of the 2nd Gay". The equation works like this, a straight friend sees you - the single gay - and wants to set you up with his/her other friend - the 2nd gay. Why? Because you're gay and they're gay and so obviously the two of you are perfect for each other. Who's been there with me on this?

So, it was of almost great surprise when LjB approached me with the idea of setting me up with her roommate's friend - An editor for a high profile publishing company with a graduate degree and a good sense of humor who apparently is also quite attractive. Now this sounded like someone who actually might be good for me and also a lesbian! (For those of you readers who know me, need I remind you about my history with the straight women?). Sadly, this was one of those occasions where the paper and the reality didn't match up.

While it is generally our duty to recap dates, this wasn't one, so I'm not going to. But I will say this, the woman was nice enough, friendly (if not shy) and somewhat attractive. Chemistry? Not a lick. She doesn't have cable, Masterpiece Theater is her favorite show, she declares herself an existentialist ( I thought only freshmen in college did that) and also a luddite. Wow. Couldn't get much more different from my interests if you tried. There was a brief glimmer of hope when, three grey goose and tonics in, she mentioned that she went to Catholic School and my mind was a swimming with images of short plaid skirts, but it was shattered quite quickly by her then ensuing rant against all religions, followed by a paltry "But I respect other people's spirituality." Tolerance is something you should always bring with you on a set-up, group-hang, first date. I'm just saying.

Needless to say, there will not be a first date. And I'm still (as a friend put it so eloquently the other day) fully date-lame. Maybe when walking home from work today someone'll fall out of the sky. Also, If you've got an old copy of the Hitchhikers' Guide to Dating and want to pass it along that'd be great. Lord knows I could use it.

The Final Ten Dater

Is this thing on? Today we bring you our fourth and final Ten Dater. Give a warm welcome to Andrea. (And don't forget to try the veal):


You think you've got post-graduate degrees? Andrea's got post-grad degrees up the wazoo, and is gunning for her third beginning in August. She currently resides in Brooklyn, and has no idea where she'll be living after May 31. Rest assured, there will be a door. When she's not up all hours chopping carrots into even squares for the tragically hip (and not the Tragically Hip), she can be found drinking wine on the LES, eating dinner on the LES, kicking back a few beers on the LES, or walking the streets of the LES. Her pop-culture acumen is matched only by her wit. The real question is "Does life get better than that?" Andrea submits that it does not.
Men need not apply.

There you have it. Interested in being one of Andrea's ten? tendates@gmail.com

The four friends have now been introduced to you. The rules have been laid out. Let the Dating commence. Rumor has it that at least two of the four have dates already lined up for the weekend. Stay tuned to find out who and how it went!

The Third Ten Dater

Ahem. Settle Down Everyone. I'm pleased to introduce you to Kristen!


Kristen somehow finds it hard to live in one place for more than 3
years at a time, and harder still to stick to a career. After being a
painter, a lighting/scenic designer for theater, and a graphic
designer, she's now almost completely sure that she'll be an
architect. She recently moved back to NYC from her 3-year stint in
Boston to attend architecture school, where over the last 2 years
she's developed a caffeine habit that has contributed to her now being
almost completely nocturnal. Kristen's interests involve building
stuff and designing stuff to build, watching the television exploits
of both Jack Bauer and Stewie Griffin, snapping pictures around town,
hanging out in bars on the LES, reading in cafes, watching arty films
and taking road trips. She's generally looking for a man who doesn't
scare her, who is just the right amount of both aloof and attentive,
and who is clean… or at least fairly clean.

Holla at a sista. If you're interested in being one of Kristen's ten email us at tendates@gmail.com (seriously people, you should know the drill by now). As an aside, Kristen will be in Rome for the entire month of June, foreign dates are still dates, check back to hear all about the fabulous Italian men she'll meet and date.

The Second Ten Dater

Everybody say hello to Josh!


Joshua is everything that SUV's and diet soft drinks promise but never deliver on. The kid your rabbi warned you about, Joshua is looking for a woman who knows how to “keep it real” but is also interested in “taking it to the next level.” After a year in Boston Joshua moved back to NYC in the fall of 2001 to work in the government relations department for one of NYC's largest nonprofit organizations. When Joshua is not trying to make the world a better place he can be found at graduate school working on his MPA. Joshua also enjoys art, listening to music, playing Ms. Pac Man, hanging out in dive bars, drinking good coffee, and reading. As a former college varsity athlete Joshua used to enjoy running – now he only does it if he's being chased.

same deal... you wanna be one of Josh's ten dates? email us at tendates@gmail.com .

and check back to hear all of josh's sordid stories. I promise they're gonna be good.

Welcome to 10 Dates

This is not a test. Borne out of a challenge and emboldened by Sparks - these are about to be the incredibly true adventures of four single friends about to embark on a mission. Each must have 10 Dates before midnight on December 31, 2005. Here are the rules:

1. A Date is defined as a face to face - one on one meeting. Instant messaging, emailing and phone conversations, no matter how intense and sexual they may get, do not count.
2. A "group hang" is not a date.
3. No more than 3 dates with one person will count. The 2nd and 3rd dates will only count if there is actual potential (ie. No going on a second date after a failed first date, just to lower the numbers)
4. Prior hook-ups do not count.
5. Seeing exes do not count.
6. Meeting someone in a bar and taking them home is NOT a date (meeting up with them again would count as a date)
7. Breakfast the morning after is NOT a date.
8. After said date is complete it MUST be blogged about. Names will be changed to protect the innocent and the not so innocent.

As the week progresses, you will meet the four 10 Daters. Today meet Jodi:


After graduating from Barnard College, Jodi stuffed all of her belongings into the trunk of her car and hightailed it to LA. She proudly made it through four years there without dyeing, bleaching or streaking her dark hair, learned a whole hell of a lot about astrology (she is a Gemini, but a little too close to Taurus for comfort), and was told by a psychic to immediately begin having more one night stands. She now lives and works in Manhattan, tries to eat tasti d lite at least once a day, and can often be found in the giant Whole Foods at Columbus Circle, assembling some bizarre salad concoction. Also, thanks to James at Equinox on 76th St., she has a brand new ass.

Check back to hear about Jodi's exploits in the world of dating. If you're interested in being one of Jodi's ten dates email us at
tendates@gmail.com